Anderson Cooper 360 Series - Bullying, It Stops Here

It's 2:30AM and I'm watching the Anderson Cooper 360 series on bullying. Although it seems to air at the wrong time for the people who really need to see it,  it's an eye-opening series with co-hosts Kelly Rippa, Dr. Phil, and  Rosalind Wiseman; best-selling author of “Queen Bees and Wannabees.” The series also features several students from the now famous Anoka-Hennepin School District, located in Michele Bachmann's district in Minnesota. Seemingly wise beyond their years, these students came on TV and told their stories of how the "neutrality policy" of this school district has not only places their lives in danger, but also fosters and creates a place where bullies are free to say and do whatever they please to other students, knowing that there are no consequences from the teachers and administration. In one story the very intelligent young man told of going to the bathroom and having another student pee on him from above in a stall. As his fellow student pointed out (he's African American), if the "N" word is used against him,  more happens to make the bully responsible than if he's called gay, faggot, or other demeaning words.

Dr. Phil pointed out that much of the bullying is the responsibility of the parents, further saying that it's not acceptable for teachers, administrators and parents to say that "it didn't happen on school grounds." His philosophy, and mine, is that bullying starts in the home and parents must be made responsible for the actions of their kids. The excuse that "they never said anything to me" doesn't hold water with Dr. Phil, who says that it doesn't make a difference what they don't say, it's the parents job to know what their kids are doing in their rooms, behind locked doors, what they are saying on the FaceBook page (a sponsor of the program) and MySpace pages, and who they are hanging out with and why.

In my very first blog about bullying I said the very same ting. Parents must take responsibility for the actions of their kids, whether they're a bully or being bullied. But this district seems to be one of the exceptions in that parents are almost equally divided in their thought that bullying is/is not an issue. Yet the rate of suicide among teens in this district is the highest in the country in the last few years, resulting in the deaths of more than six teens from bullying. Yet officials, including Bachmann, remain mute and unapproachable about changing the policy of neutrality.

In a short camera clip caught on tape one teacher actually reprimanded a bullied student in front of the bully because he didn't walk away or ignore the bully's taunting. It was a clip that would make anyone mad enough to want to shake that teacher and say, "WAKE UP STUPID," what are you thinking and saying by blaming the bullied kid for being pushed around and called names by others. Neutrality is a dangerous attitude and it must be changed. That's the goal of these segments and hopefully, along with a new program circulating around the internet that asks people to pledge to stop bullying, it will change. But as we know, change comes slow. Meanwhile our kids are dying an emotional, and often physical death while teachers, administrators, parents and politicians stand by and either ignore, or in the case of the Anoka-Hennepin School District, actually encourage bullying.

I encourage each of you to sign the Anti-Bullying Pledge on the internet and join the 73,000 people that have already signed. The pledge is available on this blog 24/7 or go to ac360.com to sign up.

 "Bullying: It Stops Here",  now...not later!

Dr. Phil Tips in with more information on Bullying

This is an excerpt from a Dr. Phil blog and references one of my posts regarding his broadcast from the bridge where the young man, Tyler Clementi, recently jumped from the bridge as a result of being bullied.

"I have some great news worth sharing. The folks from National Suicide Prevention Lifeline let us know that, with the  rebroadcast of The Bridge, the Lifeline received a record number of calls, as they did the first time it aired. They also told us that links from DrPhil.com to the Lifeline Gallery resulted in at least six people sharing their stories of hope and recovery!

The dramatic increase in calls shows that there are so many people out there who are willing to get help, if they know where to turn. We must work to not overlook those who are in pain. If you know someone who is hurting, reach out to them. You may feel as though you aren’t qualified to help in such a serious situation, but you can at least guide them to local resources. If you’re not sure where to turn, the Lifeline Network has 140 Centers in 48 states — their Web site is a great place to start. And in those urgent circumstances, whether it involves you or another person, if the danger seems immediate, by all means call 911 for help.

Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories.  If you are among those who are struggling, remember that you are not alone. Things can get better, and help is available.

God bless."

Dr. Phil

I sincerely hope that this subject remains on the forefront of talk shows, news, school board discussions, and all other places of discussion in the hopes of reaching those that don't know where to turn for help and also to reach those who are bullying others to let them know that it will no longer be tolerated!

I you are feeling like there is no other way out or are having thoughts that you are alone, no matter what the issue, PLEASE reach out to an adult you trust or call a suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You are important to ME, your family and friends and the world. Ending your life is not the answer and yes, you are hurting and may be feeling all alone, but IT WILL GET BETTER!

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Dr. Phil.com

I Joined the Dr. Phil.com Community and created my own Home Page. Great access to lots of information on all the subjects he talks about on his shows plus lots more!

Dr. Phil Testimony

@FosterBoys -- 2 questions Doc:
1. You said that "it is impossible to un-ring the cyber bell". What about that company you featured on your show that, for a price, will monitor and eliminate all negative comments about a person on the web?
2. You said that "the bullies don't understand the gravity of what they're doing". Really? Are you positing that they don't know how hurtful they're being or that they don't understand the legal consequences of their actions? Please clarify.

My Response:Your questions are really 1. That photo, text, lie or rumor that is posted online and spread around grows and grows like the sounds of the bell spread out farther & farther. But once done they can never be taken back & affect that person for the rest of their life. It may be funny for someone at the time, but not for the person being persecuted. It may change their self image, cause depression and end in suicide. It follows them forever like the sounds of the bell.

Bullies very rarely care about the gravity or consequences of what they're doing or they wouldn't do it. Empathy, the ability to walk in another's shoes, doesn't develop in teenagers until later years, so being a bully, either alone or in a group to someone, places them above others and inflates ego's; but in the process destroys others' lives at the risk of civil or criminal liability. Some bullies never grow up and foster that same attitude on their children-now who's liable?